Monday, October 4, 2010

Midnight Snack

Ok, it is late, and I suspect I will regret this burst of writerliness tomorrow, but a theme which resurfaces throughout this "experience" is food. In various manifestations and conversational forms.
  1. Will I change my diet?
  2. Have I lost my appetite?
  3. Do I still want to cook / eat?
Answer to #1. God, no, not if I can help it. I love cheese, wine, chutneys, meats, sauces, fruit, vegetable concoctions.  I have decided what the body craves the body will receive. It is my spirtual duty. I owe it to myself to feed the inner child/ needy grown up. Eg. If I crave a fully loaded veal sandwich, with mozza, hot peppers, onions, and slathered in sauce for breakfast at St. Lawrence Market on Saturday morning - CAN DO.

Answer to #2. Nope. But, essentially, there is a price for the delights of #1. Mostly I believe it is stress related. The body rebels. As the pain seems to increase, the gut wrenches more. So it goes.

But I will not "cleanse", or add multivitamins, or any such notional dietary changes to my life. One thing I LOVE and always will - is good, great yummy sustaining wholesome, real lovin food.

Last week- Ginny dropped off home made banana bread, Catherine brought by her famous bran muffins.

Today -
- Gabrielle dropped by with scones and muffins- bits of heaven home made
- Jenn dropped off the most BEAUTIFUL cupcakes I have ever seen
- Lisa sent me a menu of supperworks for me to choose from which she will make and drop off for the duration

A wise friend who shall remain nameless said to me today - "the cleanse thing, not so fun - and I did not lose weight." I imagine the weight loss thing is going to happen naturally, as each breast is supposedly, what 4-5 lbs?!!

Answer to #3. Long story. Tonight [after I attempted large-appliance cleaning and repair in a fit of pique at dishes that come out of stupid machine dirtier than when I put them in and a flooded kitchen and removing certain parts of the kitchen cupboards with Michael to make sure there was you know, no long term damage, without a WORD of reproach] I thought, hey, why not make chicken cordon bleu, with a nice succotash??!!

So I did. Come hell or high dishwasher backwash water. In the middle of cleaning kitchen floor with mop and bucket, beep beep - uh honey cordon bleu is done...heh heh

Sucking it back with prosecco, life felt sort of you know, normal. Sort of. And I didn't even have a nap today.

PS - Non sequitor- in pharmacy asking pharmacist re topical pain killer for you know, pain in chest from cancer- she says well, did you pull a muscle??!! uh.......

1 comment:

cricket said...

Hi Kate, (and Mike)
Thank you so much for keeping this blog. It is so helpful to know how you are feeling without needing to phone you in the middle of the night.
About food, I was talking to a woman in our community who is just recovering from breast cancer and she told me that while in treatment her tastes changed and if you eat your favorite food in that time you may not like it any more. And she said something about antioxidents being counter productive during treatment. But really, I like your approach: eat what feels good!
xo Rosemary