Monday, November 8, 2010

The new vernacular

Good evening.

A fine sunny and mild day day here at #20, with a 5.6 to 6 on nausea scale (1 being super icky...etc),(Owen's comment, 6 is not so bad mum, until I explained that Friday was about a -10), capable of a shower, clothes other than pyjamas, mostly upright, and - GASP - answering calls and the front door. Wow.

I am learning SO many new things while going through this cancer thing. I spoke with Andy (brother) tonight who sprang some new terms on me - as a veteran of the chemo-drug producing world [God love 'em] - he is very deeply embedded in the vernacular of chemotherapy, cancer, etc. And provided licence for me to use them here for our "edutainment."

So just for fun - here are some of the exciting new terms I fully expect to hear from you at the next cocktail soiree we attend.

The chemo-naive -  Those who are currently in the throes of their first ball busting session of chemo, cursing their fate at arriving at whatever level of Dante's Inferno they have reached are called thus.....the chemo-naive know it is going to be bad. But not HOW bad. And no one has the heart to tell them. Sigh. The chemo-naive being led by chemo-savvy - get it?! Terrible. Je m'excuse.

So potential opportunities to use this phrase may see limited, but really the possibilities are endless if we "think outside the box" - say for example, you find someone who is new to the playground, book club, the girls only gym (for those who do that sort of thing, wenches, argh) parent council, or the nasty bitches around the office cooler - and someone really really socks em, and takes the wind out of their sails, and they react with pain. You can easily input "Oh, that poor wee lamb, that one is so "chemo-naive", but they will eventually toughen up." Ok, that would make you one of the bitches around the water cooler, but it could work.

You laugh, but remember, when "actioning" was not a verb, "edutainment" was not a word, and people had chats, conversations, not "discourses"?

 Next - "From gums to bum". Nice eh?  This is the term for the terrible path that the chemo drugs race on through the body. Given that most of the truly miraculous human body regenerates like, daily, at an amazing pace, most of the body, including stomach lining, esophagus, guts, innards, sinuses, skin, hair, etc. all fall prey to the burn and rage of nuclear medicine on a daily basis also. One day, its your gut, another, one particular part of one of your right sinuses, and yet another, your mouth. Who knew? Uh, me, sort of. The chemo-naive know it is poison, well in advance. I know it kills the bad and the good. We read dilligently on it, since we know our life will become heavily engaged with it. But the how, well...

And lastly, "nuclear hangover".  Really, this needs no explanation. The hours, day, week, after the chemo jolt.

And now, just for really stupid fun, and apropos of nothing - MACHO SALAD. Love the dressing part.

And with that I bid you "Good night, and good luck."

xo KO

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