First, thanks to those who called, emailed or checked in some way post blog post yesterday. It was a dark post. It was a dark night, truth be told.
But, I am ok. I will be fine. You should know that by now, I am rubber, resilient, built to last. I fight like a GIRL. It is always darkest before dawn. I did not move davenports, chests, or anything overly large which might cause bodily harm. I moved books, and stuff. And settled a few personal issues with picture placement while the house was empty.
Flying solo at the hospital was also not super fun, but as luck would have it Amanda, who works at PMH, walked on by and I clung to her for a wee bit. Kindness personified she was, and right there mid stairwell, on her way to a meeting. She also indicated that there are always LOTS of friendly faces at PMH, just ask. Reach out. Then appointments, yada yada, and then spicy peanut chicken at Spadina Garden with CD and gossip, and all manner of hilarity.
So, to the oatmeal thing. This is the very word used by the doctor to describe the large masses previously known as my cancerous tumours. "They feel like thick oatmeal." I am astounded that they have shrunk from such beasts down to such mealiness. WOW!! This is a new year's eve moment, for real. I am elated. I am over the moon. I was expecting the usual report backs from the doctor on white blood cell counts (good, good and good), and the "how are you feeling", and all that stuff. But not "oatmeal". Digging deep, searching for tumours, and finding - well - dispersed particles of disease. I am a bit astounded. A bit disbelieving. Hard not to be....
Oatmeal is my favourite food!!!!! Ok, I love it anyway. Dad makes it for (me) us when he is here...the best cuppa, and the best oatmeal.
I know that whatever comes now is going to add fodder to the cannons, and blast this plague right out of me. I am a cancer-combating Amazon!!!!. Uh....ok, with delicate skin. So, over time, this frame of mine apparently has lost enough weight to make the port-a-cath unusable - the nerve are too close to the surface as it has shifted. It grates under my skin, very close to the surface. It looks like a really big Smartie right there under my skin.
Now, I can bear a lot of pain (hello! natural childbirth!) but I almost passed out cold when the familiar sucking sound of the vacuum needle pierced when I went for pre-clinic blood work. Yeah, gross. God in Heaven, who knew the skin could be so tender? Poor Virginia the nurse. Oh well. so much for that. Intravenous from now on. No way am I doing that again. It STILL hurts from my blood letting. Surely to God leeeches would be less painful.
So - HAPPY NEW YEAR!! And raise a glass to OATMEAL!
Let the tender amazon sally forth on to VICTORY!