Sunday, April 3, 2011

Let My Freak Flag Fly

Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young had a song called Almost Cut My Hair, which we played for Owen recently, given his long locks, which I am jealous of.  [He is rebellious in ernest and simple ways.]

Catherine came over this afternoon, and we discussed the bodies we inhabit, and taking time to consider what is, vs. what is expected.

I said I was feeling a bit like a freak show - people I have known for years not recognizing me on the street car or on the street.  It has happened a few times.

Naomi mentioned to me yesterday that I resemble not at all the mum she sees in her Soccer Team photo when I was her coach, 2 years ago. "Wow, you really don't look like that anymore." Casting no aspersions, merely commenting.

But we get one shot, one kick at it, and so,whatever the freakshow is, it's me now, and it's what is inside that counts. Trite, but true. I am thankful my loved ones see that. The seriously lopsided bald but slowly growing grey haired head, wrinkled and worn face in the mirror is hard to reconcile with the me of before. But my people still kiss the head and squeezy hug the contorted and misshapen form.

So here are the lyrics for the song - interesting. I think the person I owe it to is myself.

Almost cut my hair, it happened just the other day.

It's getting' kinda long, I coulda said it wasn't in my way.

But I didn't and I wonder why, I feel like letting my freak flag fly,

Cause I feel like I owe it to someone.

Must be because I had the flu' for Christmas and I'm not feeling up to par.

It increases my paranoia, like looking at my mirror and seeing a police car.

But I'm not giving in an inch to fear cause I missed myself this year.

I feel like I owe it to someone.

When I finally get myself together, I'm going to get down in that sunny southern weather.

And I find a place inside to laugh, separate the wheat from the chaff.

I feel like I owe it to someone


Anonymous said...

I feel honoured to be mentioned alongside CSNY! You may continue to rock...CD

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering which is better,(or worse) - not to be recognised at all, or to be mistaken for my brother's mother?
Love - Jean

P.S. That brother is the youngest one -- it could be worse.

Steve said...

Awesome tune!! Bass players don't get to sing lead much. But this is the one tune I did sing with my band.