Monday, October 3, 2011

The real journey

I don't have a lot time since the kids are at the park with Lawrence and Uncle Andy, running off their endless energy - spinning, reeling with the new bad news. I found out this morning that the cancer is back, in my liver. Metastatic breast cancer - two tumours, 11 cm each. Same shit, different place. I begin a radical hammer like chemo tomorrow, so if you are the praying type, bring it on - and pray your asses off I make it through. The irony of this past weekend's run for the cure as I sat having diagnostic imaging done is not lost on me. We are stunned, bewildered, messed up. As Wendell Berry says: It maybe when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sending all of our positive vibes to you and your family, Kate. xoxox

Virginia

Anonymous said...

oh Kate, I know not of what to say but I love you and am thinking of you.
Terry and family

Anonymous said...

Kate, I pledge to you to find every possible bit of positive energy I can to help you in this new wretched fight. Love u, Anjali

Haideh said...

Oh, Kate. I don't know what to say, but I know that I will continue to think of you every day until you kick the shit out of this thing. Stay strong knowing that you are surrounded by love. With all my heart.

Kristine said...

Oh Kate, if anything could turn me into the praying kind, this is it. I will pray my ass off and send you all the love and positive energy I can. Love you so and thinking of you and all of yours.
xoxoxo
Krissy

Corin said...

I pride myself on being a praying atheist. I'll get to work.

I'm so sorry Kate & Michael. Keep fighting.

Anonymous said...

Katie,you know we luv you with all our hearts and will try to be strong with you and for you. XXX

Anonymous said...

Kate and Michael - This stinks. I love you and am sending all the good vibes/prayers that I can
Love Joan (Crick)

Anonymous said...

Kate, I woke up thinking of you this morning. I will continue to think and pray of you often and send all of my love and hope and strength to you to get you through this shit sandwich. Sarah V.

upyerbeach said...
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Anonymous said...

Kate - The north west of England (aka scousers) all send their love and will be thinking of you and praying hard. Love to you all from Auntie Marg and all xx

Anonymous said...

Babe I am the praying type and I have and will be all day today. Love you lots- you are surrounded by love and hope and faith. Tiina P

Catherine said...

I never know what to say to this kind of news, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and wishing that wishing could help you through this.

Jean said...

Dear, dear Kate - I will pray my ass off and do anything else you need; if love could banish this bitch, it would be done by now - no- yesterday.

Bob said...

Kate, so sorry to hear this, you're a fighter and I know that you will battle this back, but how tough to have to start again. Know that you are loved, by me and by so many others here, and that we are all with you.

Bob

Anonymous said...

Wishing you & your family all the strenght, love and warmth as you begin your next healing journey. Although I have not written on your blog before, please know I have not stopped praying for you. Rubina D

Robert M. said...

Kate,
You are in my thoughts. I am so impressed with your thoughtful introspection and imagery. Be strong and imagine this overcome. Rob

Erin said...

I wish I had something pithy or inspirational to say. Instead, my mind is filled with curse words. I'll do my best to clear it to send prayers to whomever listens, and all my life to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

So sorry. What a blow to you and your family. You beat it once, you can do it again. My thoughts and and positive energy are with you.
Francine

Anonymous said...

My thoughts are with you Kate. Your beautiful spirit and energy will get you through this. Kelly

Traci said...

It's just so wrong.

Kate... much positive energy is beaming at you from the west end of Toronto.

It's horrible to hear that you have to fight again. Wishing you great power and tenacity so that you can send cancer packing with tail between legs AGAIN - for good this time!

Traci & Steve
xo

mandy said...

Kate ..we will pray like crazy feel so helpless.
xxxxxx

Anonymous said...

dear Kate,
i am so sorry to hear about this. I am thinking of you and sending you good thoughts and praying for you. YOu can beat this.
love
carolynn b-r