Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The way you wear your hat....

Nasty nasty day. Chemo was a bust - literally, they blew a vein in my hand, which means hideous pain.

I kinda lost it after that - and got all sad and maudlin, bawling. Really nice for all the other poor souls, white-knuckled in their chairs; like getting stuck with a crying baby all the way from Toronto to Ottawa. Yipes.

I know it's stupid, but it felt a bit like letting down the chemo patient team - like that famous Tom Hanks line "There's no crying in baseball!" One lady - all four paws in bags of ice, and two bags of poison to go...another gentleman, stoically sucking it in. But you know, sometimes, you gotta let it all hang out and cry at the pain.

But Andy calmed me down - nothing like a warm hand to hold and a cold compress. And then we played possibly the worse game of scrabble ever. Embarrassing.

But I came home to awesome mail for Sylvia and Tiina - ye olde friends from Ottawa- and wow, the difference it makes. Words cannot describe the up after the down.

Love in a padded envelope. Huge love. Yay me. Lucky me.

And here is the message, in case you missed the nuances, it could be tricky....Fuck Cancer.  Wuhoooo!!!  Perked me up some - enough to sit up and take some pics!



Bob said...

You look fabulous as always. I believe you are entitled to crank a little bit here and there, no, especially when you recover so strongly and take those really charming photos.

Fuck Cancer indeed.

Anonymous said...

You need to let it out sometimes my dear. How can you not cry when you are in pain?

So, fuck caner, cry if you have to and then get up and take great pictures like these.

Miss you. XO

Anonymous said...

Oh Kate, how is it that you look so great in that hat? And how is it that you can find the words to so clearly convey to me the pain in your hand and the sensitivity of your soul (to feel like you've let your team down). How is it that you can shine so bright as you mug for the camera in spite of your morning experiences - how is it? It's because you're amazing! You are amazing!