Monday, February 27, 2012
This past weekend. I was so sick. Sicker, perhaps, and in more pain than I have ever endured in my life. I had a dose of radiation on my affected pelvic bones, and it was a large, harsh dose. Palliative, to help ease the pain. However, they told me it would get worse before it got better. So take lots of pain meds and anti-nauseants, so I did.
It did get worse. Significantly. Agonizingly bone throbbingly worse. Give you the shakes pain. Pain so bad, you vomit. Even with morphine and antinausea meds. So yes, I was in a bad spot. ;-)
But as ever with life, the achingly-sweet good was saddled up to the trough side by each with the shitty. So many things happened to me in addition to this mind-numbing pain, things that pulled my weary sore and sad carcass through this mire.
Like Monica and Ellen dropping in with flowers; Erin having a pampered chef party, making damn sure I was included, even if I lay there like a corpse, making me (!) drink a few mimosas; Scott and Adrienne dropping by for a good few laughs and some smoked arctic char; the birthday party kids being suitably awe-struck by the great magician at Naomi's party; and a lovely dinner with my brother and Mike to celebrate the joint birthday. Ok, so I had white bread and water, but the boys enjoyed their food!! Sparkly necklaces, fragrant flowers, sweet words, smoked char. Yummy.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is going to stop me in my path through life- Cancer, fuck you. I will celebrate birthdays, I will visit, I will drink wine, I will smell the flowers, I will enjoy my peeps. I will gasp in admiration of the magicians tricks. I will don sparkly things. I will not lie down for this.
So, on that vein - click here for a gift from Brooke, with love. An awesome song - which arrived on my birthday....enjoy it. it's amazing. Brooke is Michael's second cousin - an extremely talented song writer. Sister of Leah, who painted the picture you see up top. A birthday present from Mike. It's the view from Toronto Island, on our wedding day. These lovely young women get it - life, and it's need for beautiful things, because they count, they help. They get it, in spades.