Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Quick Note on the Next While - the Holding Pattern

Easter has come and gone - the bunny left a long trail of chocolate. What a lovely, delightful time was had - people dropping in with soup, biscuits, love, eggs, bunny treats. A few lovely sit down dinners with family - to fresh simple and spring like food. Thanks to all you came, visited, cooked, sent love.

Special thanks for the wonderful family visit Sandra and Kirk, and Nathan - the cousin love-bomb from the UK. Timing was awesome. Being here with us. Kids are set for life with new memories and connections.

Gratitude for the love and goodness around us - really.

The crisis of the past few weeks of pain and spinal compression is now over - and we walk hopefully into a calmer, more restful pace. No doctor's appointments for almost 2 weeks now - just regular visits from the nurse for pain management (the morphine drip is a mid to long term solution to the pain, fyi, it's not going anywhere - it keeps me sane frankly). It also keeps me ambulatory, and able to live life pretty freely - with full body contact hugs finally allowed back - kids VERY happy about that. Seemingly less fragile - a good thing.

Chemotherapy started again on Monday - two weeks on, one week off. This is manageable. We have dialed back the dose slightly to alleviate some of the side effects. But since there is no radiation in the near future, we are doing ok with it - it should not pose any significant problems physically. This low dose chemotherapy is all part of long term care options  to keep the cancer from growing back.

We've done all the appointments we can so far - social work for long term care options, palliative review for ongoing pain, and will soon do Occupational Therapy review of the home - so we know what things to make some changes to - ie bathrooms, etc.

Right now is a mish mash of  chemo and pain drugs, the "need now" and also, the need "much later". The much later is the one we are all clinging to - those long term goals. But it's all that, all rolled into one. There is no real path "through" - but a series of connected things that need to be done. So we're doing them as they pop up, rather than worry about their impending arrival.

So, we get back to normal - the holding pattern. Michael went back to work. Kids went back to school. I went back to chemo, rest, some minor personal administration, connecting with people, and getting on with things around here.

Now, we're into the just being. No crisis.

1 comment:

Carrie Snyder said...

Wonderful. Glad to hear it.